Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


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'MySpace' Parody Launches Film Career

LOS ANGELES (AP) -- Amateur filmmaker David Lehre first screened his short film "MySpace: The Movie" about a month ago at his 21st birthday party....

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Rival writers start last chapter in war of words over Da Vinci Code

Da Vinci Code: 'THIS is without doubt, the silliest, most inaccurate, ill-informed, stereotype-driven, cloth-eared, cardboard-cutout-populated piece of pulp fiction that I have read. And that's saying something.

"It would be bad enough that Brown has gone into New Age overdrive by trying to draw together the Grail, Mary Magdalene, the Knights Templar, the Priory of Sion, Rosicrucianism, Fibonacci numbers, the Isis cult and the Age of Aquarius. But he's done it so sloppily.'

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The Golden Hour

During a recent conversation, a formerly svelt young lady said that she had given up on the idea of exercise, because to have a body worth the trouble, it would take three or four hours a day.

Novice writers complain that in order to build their careers, it would take six or seven hours a day…so what is the point!

And more times than I could count, stressed-out acquaintances have said that they would love to meditate, but “don’t have the time.”

It is time we explode these falsehoods. The truth is that misconceptions like the above can completely steal your chances for health, happiness and success.

Comment: Comment: If we are going to have to deal with Bush and the Neocons, best to be fit...


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Kiss of life saves Boo Boo the chicken

ARKADELPHIA, Arkansas (AP) -- This chicken had lips, just not her own.

A retired nurse saved her brother's chicken, Boo Boo, by administering mouth-to-beak resuscitation last week after the fowl was found floating face down in the family's pond.

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Coincidences boggle mind, ranging from odd to bizarre!

Most of us have experienced odd coincidences that make us wonder.

My most recent experience with how small the world is involved the column I did about a Glen Park man who found an old football in a heating duct in his home.

He had called to speak to someone in our sports department, but none of the writers or editors, who usually work late shifts, were at their desks.

So he followed the phone system prompt to press 0 to speak to someone in the newsroom immediately. I just happened to pick up the phone.

That column ran on a Sunday. On Monday, one of my writing students at Indiana University Northwest told me that the finder of the football was her stepfather, and the duct in which it was found heated the room in which she slept until she moved out of the house shortly before he called the paper.

But this coincidence is cosmically small change in comparison to something that happened recently in Buffalo, N.Y.

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Radio competition winners marry despite never having met

When Craig first met Rebecca he turned up in a top-hat and tails. She arrived for their first date by horse and carriage, dressed in ivory and with her father on her arm. Among the first words the couple exchanged were "I do".

Craig Cooper, 30, and Rebecca Duffy, 28,were the winners of a radio station competition in Birmingham in which the prize was marrying a total stranger. Far from being a crass publicity stunt, organisers said, this was a noble attempt to boost the failing institution of marriage.

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US serial number gives clue to mystery of the alien in the attic

When Barney Broom began renovating his cottage he did not expect to be confronted by a pair of black eyes staring from a cloudy jar.

But the mysterious discovery of an alien in his attic has spooked the 54-year-old screenwriter and bewildered extraterrestrial experts, who yesterday suggested the US military could be involved.

The delicate 30cm (12 inch) figure of a baby alien is stored in a pungent liquid and has a US serial number painted on its four-toed foot. Possibly sculpted from a clay-like substance and painted grey, the model closely resembles the aliens depicted in a hoax film of an autopsy of the infamous "Roswell incident".

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In the time of Noah department: Stars fuel designer dogs fashion

Cross-breed dogs appear to have become designer accessories for some stars, sparking a trend in the UK and US.

Popular dogs include the puggle - half pug, half beagle - and cockerpoo - a combined cocker spaniel and poodle. Some puggles are sold for up to £3,000.

The trend is said to have been fuelled by celebrities such as Ozzy Osbourne, Uma Thurman and Sylvester Stallone.

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Say What?! A dismembered Arab sheikh raised from the dead after visiting an Orthodox convent

Moscow - One of the Saudi Arabia sheikhs ‘rose from the dead’ after visiting Panagia Saidnaya, an old convent near Damascus, the Trud daily writes on Friday.

After being killed and quartered, this man was sewed up anew with the use of some technology unknown to humanity, the newspaper says referring to medics who analyzed this unique occurrence.

The US military medics, who also took part in the experiment, came to the conclusion that it was a result of ‘the UFO interference’ and classified this information as secret.

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Bush Says Only US Can Secure Whirled Peas

President George Bush insisted last night that, despite its difficulties in Iraq, America would not retreat from whirled peas, arguing that US leadership "is the only way to secure whirled peas." Isolationism and protectionism, he warned in his annual State of the Union address, led ultimately "to an ability so that, uh, you know, you can't put food on your family."

According to excerpts of the speech released in advance by the White House, Mr Bush asked for more money to spend on basic science research, and on education in maths and science, to help understand whirled peas farming, to more accurately count the peas, and to ensure that "rich folks get their fair share, a bigger share of the, uh, the peas, and the best peas too, because it was our idea."